Trends are trends (even indie ones)

Thursday, March 25, 2010 | by Newlywed | Labels: , |

I'm a huge supporter of couples doing whatever they want for their weddings regardless of how crazy or how far off the beaten path it is. But here, I discuss wedding trends and yes, I support them too! Once you've been exposed to the lovely world of wedding blogdom, you're prone to falling in love in at least one wedding trend. Non-white wedding shoes? Had me at hello. A family tree guestbook? Perfect! Ringbearer dish? Yes, mam!

 There's a reason why trends are popular...because they're cute, beautiful and meaningful in their own right. Being trendy is not necessarily a bad thing at all. If it's meaningful and reflective of the person/couple doing it, it's perfect for them. Not everyone might agree with it or really get it, but if it fits the couple and the celebration, then who are we to judge? When I told my more traditionally minded sister about my friend's plan for the In N' Out truck to cater her wedding, my sister smirked. But why would you want to do that? She asked. I spent the next 20 minutes sticking up for my friend's In N Out truck even though it's not something the FH and I ended up doing. It works for them, so get over it.

But when I tell my more unconventional, heavily tatted friend I seriously wanted the traditional white dress with a long train, she smirked. That's so boring, she said. You seriously want to look like every freakin' bride out there? Can't you find a cool vintage dress? As much as I love, love, love vintage dresses there wasn't one I wanted. I tried them on, and to my surprise, didn't really feel any of them. I just couldn't see myself wearing one down the aisle. I wanted something more...can you believe it?...conventional. But after looking through so many blogs with offbeat, kickass, indie-minded brides in their vintage gowns, I thought maybe I should want a vintage gown.


But just because a trend is more popular, conventional and tried a zillion times, doesn't make it better or worse than what we call indie-trends. Mason jars, outdoor, DIY photobooths, even non-white bridal gowns, are all great alternative touches to a wedding and yes, probably fresher and newer to your audience. But just because they're less popular and conventional doesn't make it less of a trend. They're still trends, people!

 But yes, trends do get a bad rap. Because, unfortunately, people tend to latch onto them thinking it's something they should do, that they're supposed to do. If they don't well, they're weddings will be viewed as just not chic enough. I'm not just talking about the usual, more traditional trends, the ones that grace most wedding mags and The Knot. I've seen this happen with "indie" trends as well. Some people (note, not all people)  assume they're weddings are cooler and more original, more meaningful just because they've done something considered "indie." No, I'm not saying that everyone that does something considered trendy are just trendsetting posers. I don't judge everyone that does something I've seen somewhere else as unoriginal and jumping on the bandwagon. But there's an irony in folks trumping something "different" just for the mere fact of trying to be different -- yes, those folks do exist. Some people might think just the mere fact of having moustaches on a stick at their wedding makes their wedding more unique and original. Unfortuantely, no it doesn't. You just have to look at a Real Wedding feature on any blog to see why. What truly makes moustaches on a stick unique at a wedding is that it's something that the couple really wanted at their wedding, it's quirkiness is reflective of them and it adds a fun touch to their wedding. And, yes, it might be something fresh and new for their guests.

Don't feel bad for actually wanting something trendy or doing something you know a bunch of other couples have done before. There's nothing bad about it at all and you don't lose your individuality just because you do. But just as there is such thing as pressure to conform to the conventional wedding trends (super expensive bridal gown, ultra-nice invitations, and a wedding cake to the ceiling, etc.) some folks might feel the pressure to conform to to "indie" trends (wow, isn't that an oxymoron?). No, I'm not going to judge you if you do something I've seen somewhere else. Just remember, don't do something just because everyone else is doing it and you think it's something you should do, whether it's conventional or even indie and alternative. But don't do it either, just because you want to fit the image of being offbeat, unique and original. Maybe you don't want a huge ballroom celebration with a sparkler send off. That's fine. Maybe you don't want a vintage Anthropologie wedding with brown bag picnic in the park. That's fine too. Do it because it fits you and your FH. Once you do something that's truly reflective of you two, it truly becomes a unique and orginal celebration of YOU!

*Additional comments: Now, if you do decide to do something considered "indie" and offbeat (i.e. something that would make my mom and FMIL take a seat in horror), I commend you. I'm fully aware you're in the minority and it takes a lot of guts and perseverance to stick to your guns about something that means a lot to you. Trust me, I get it. I know the comments and resistance you might be facing. The FH and I deal with this too with our own wedding plans. This post in no way dimishes your efforts. I'm just saying...we shouldn't be apply expectations and standards on anyone for a celebration that is truly personal--whether those expectations are Martha Stewart conventional or Offbeat Bride alternative. You may look to friends, family, magazines, blogs and ,shoot, even those wedding reality shows for inspiration...just don't look to them for validation.


Jessica @ budgetsavvybride said...

GREAT post. Seriously.

I know I felt the judgement of those of the mindset that this or that trend is "over" or that this or that "is not a trend, it's indie." It's all crap.

We had a candy buffet at our wedding, and I'm sure many people are "SO OVER" candy buffets, but if you knew how much my fiance loved candy, and how it's something that's played a part in our relationship- you would see that we included it because it MEANT something to us, not because it was "like, SO cute!" or whatever.

All in all I'm just tired of people judging other people's decisions. It seems to happen alot in the bridal community. The day, in the end, is a momentous day and the focus should be on the relationship and the marriage- not all the fancy details. Yes, they make for pretty pictures in a pretty album, but they don't play a bit of a part in your marriage. Thanks for this post, apparently I had alot to get off my chest, haha.

Jenell Horne said...

My two least favorite words to hear while we've been planning our wedding are "trendy" and "tacky." You are absolutely right in your article - the wedding day is a reflection of the bride and groom. Whenever someone has an opinion about something we want to incorporate in our wedding, it feels like a personal attack on "us." Luckily, we've been pretty good at keeping things in perspective.

Anonymous said...


Think Thin Thoughts said...

I so agree... we're doing some "typical" or "trendy" things and some non-trendy things. I figure those that love and know us will see the insight in what we chose, and those who don't ... well who care what they think.

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