Very Superstitious!

There are a couple wedding superstitions we're keeping in mind. I am wearing a sixpence in my shoe (Thanks, Mon Amour Boutique!) and the FH refuses to see my gown until I'm walking down the aisle (nope, no First Look shots for us!) But there is one superstition I just don't get!

Along with making my veil and the flower girl dresses, my aunt is so kindly altering my wedding gown. She did afterall work as a seamstress in a wedding dress factory! Yes, I do feel really grateful for relatives offering their convenient services! But what's not so convenient in this case is my aunt's strongly held Filipino wedding superstition -- I'm not supposed to wear my wedding gown until the day of the wedding! That means no fittings before then. Ummm...not going to happen!

I've told my aunt too late, I've already tried on the dress. But she refuses to work on it with me in it! It's bad luck, she says! You see, in the Philippines, dresses were always custom made. The seamstress would take the bride's measurements so it was a good chance the bride wouldn't need a whole lot of alterations come wedding day. But this superstition doesn't bode well here where most dresses come in standard sizes! What will be truly bad luck is an ill-fitting wedding gown!

So what's a girl to do? Luckily, because I have tried on the gown before, I know what alterations need to be done. Nothing major, just a tightening of the shoulder straps, which my aunt can do in 10 mins. But this situation still doesn't ease my mind!

Are you adhering to any wedding superstitions? If so, which ones and why?

Choosing the veil

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Ahhh, the bridal veil. Growing up, nothing said "bride" more to me than the veil. Sure, I'm aware of the gripes some women have with the veil, but the mysogynistic origins is so far from what I really love about it. For me, it's purely aesthetic -- I love the gorgeous dramatic effect of cascading tulle and lace, and you know, I'll only get to wear that once! For me, there's only one kind of veil I want--the cathedral length veil. I dunno, I saw Sound of Music when I was little and I was hooked. Give me a veil as long as Fraulein Maria's!

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Really, How stunning is this?

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But...the price of a mere accessory is hazardous to my blood pressure! Seriously, for the life of me, I can't figure out how a veil made mostly of tulle can cost nearly as much as the gown!

Future Hubby: Do not read any further, unless you want to ruin the surprise!

A package

It's hanging in my closet. Yes, my dress arrived today! Much sooner than expected -- the dress came in two months and I didn't even do a rush order!. The dress is a little wrinkled (What do you expect? It came in box!) so I'll need to get it pressed, but other than that, I'm really pleased! Not bad for half-priced! RKBridal even threw in an extra blue garter. I wasn't actually planning on buying one since the FH doesn't want to do a garter toss, but hey, I got my something blue!

Wedding gowns for under $250

Sure, I went over my intended $250 dress budget with my own wedding gown, but not by much --$50 to be exact. Not too shabby for the Alfred Angelo gown I love! But after having gone through what was for me a very frustrating wedding gown shopping experience, I still have faith that one can find a gorgeous gown to spark dress envy everywhere for a fraction of the expected price! There are online retailers that can offer great deals (RKbridal.com, Netbride.com, and Pearlsplace.com just to name a few), but you will have to call or email to find out the best price on your chosen dress (worth the research. I saved 50% on my gown!).

But here some of my favorite Internet finds for under $250:

1) I heart Little White Dress. No really, I do! This little shop is one of my favorites on Etsy and you only need to look at one handmade gown to see why. I fell in love with the shop after stumbling onto this blog full of modern vintage chic (serious swooning going on here!).  You can order this gorgeous Audrey-inspired gown for your own casual wedding or reception dress, or maybe just to add to your stylish wardrobe! And this tea length dress is just $125!

If you want more vintage chic, how about this Grace Kelly look?

This satin dress is only $120!

2) Unique Vintage is full of non-traditional, modern vintage goodness! Some of my faves:

Left to right: $130, $238, $170

3) Etsy's the word!
Found Ellana Couture on Etsy and many gorgeous, affordable possibilities! Here's my favorite deal:

This A-line, retro chic gown has a chapel train and a built in French bustle (all for $240!)

4) Eden Bridals
This was a gown I was debating over before I finally chose the one I'll wear come wedding day. But I thought I'd still share--modest, simple and lovely. Satin slim A-line with beaded cap sleeves and chapel train.

$209 at Netbride. Yup.

ZWQKQ5ZYBEVC

Don't be a victim of a Craigslist scam!

As you  may know, I'm selling dress #1. I posted it on Craigslist and I received a quick response from an interested buyer. I immediately corresponded with the person to make payment and shipping arrangements. Just when it seemed my Mori Lee gown would find a new home, I decided not to go through with it. I think now, I may have saved myself from being a potential victim of a Craigslist scam!

Looking back, there were a number of red flags from the very beginning. The "interested buyer" never would leave their name in their messages. I never knew if I was dealing with a man or a woman. They never asked any questions a bride would ask related to the dress. Was the dress taken in? What material is it made of? Is crinoline included? None of those questions were ever asked. They also wanted me to take down the post from Craigslist "immediately."

Then the person said they would send me a certified check and include extra money as payment to the person they've hired to pick up the dress. From what I heard, a certified check is considered more secure than a personal check because it's issued from the bank. So I went agreed to the terms.

After more than week, no check ever came. I emailed the person and said if I did not receive anything in the next few days, I would sell the gown to the next interested buyer (I had a few inquiries at that point). Then the person responded saying she or he would send me money orders of $2000, which is way more than I was selling the gown for! There must be a mistake I told them...you mean $200, right? Nope, they were sending me $2000 (red flag), and I am to cash the orders (red flag) and send to the remaining money to the UK (another red flag) through Western Union to their "mover ." Red flag! Scketchy!!!! That's 4 red flags in one sentence!

Before I responded, I did a little research on the Web (which I should have done before posting on Craigslist) and here's an advisory from Craig himself:

DEAL LOCALLY WITH FOLKS YOU CAN MEET IN PERSON - follow this one simple rule and you will avoid 99% of the scam attempts on craigslist.


NEVER WIRE FUNDS VIA WESTERN UNION, MONEYGRAM or any other wire service - anyone who asks you to do so is a scammer.

FAKE CASHIER CHECKS & MONEY ORDERS ARE COMMON, and BANKS WILL CASH THEM AND THEN HOLD YOU RESPONSIBLE when the fake is discovered weeks later.

CRAIGSLIST IS NOT INVOLVED IN ANY TRANSACTION, and does not handle payments, guarantee transactions, provide escrow services, or offer "buyer protection" or "seller certification"

NEVER GIVE OUT FINANCIAL INFORMATION (bank account number, social security number, eBay/PayPal info, etc.)

AVOID DEALS INVOLVING SHIPPING OR ESCROW SERVICES and know that ONLY A SCAMMER WILL "GUARANTEE" YOUR TRANSACTION. 
 
So, I emailed the person back and told them I didn't wish to pursue the transaction any further. The person had the nerve to email me twice trying to persuade me otherwise, but no, it's not worth it! I'm not going to risk getting slapped with a $2000 fine!
 
Moral of the story: Deal locally. If you can exchange money in person, do so. It'll save you the worry and the money!  

Your very own

I overheard a conversation a bride-to-be (BTB) was having with her friend and it went something like this:

Friend: Have you bought your dress yet?

BTB: (sighs) No, everything I want is out of my budget.

Friend: Well what do you want?

BTB: I totally would love a Monqiue Lhuilier or even a Casablanca or Maggie Sottero, but the ones I love are more than what I can afford.

Friend: Have you looked at David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo?

BTB: (smirks) Ewww! I wouldn't be caught dead in a mass-produced gown! Can you imagine that? Thousands of other brides wearing my gown???? I want my own dress!

Ouuuuch! David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo don't get much love do they? I know they get a bad rap for being "generic," but c'mon, unless your gown was designed and custom-made just for you, your gown is most likely "generic," i.e. made for anyone willing to buy it.

Sure, DB and AA might not have the greatest reputation as far as customer service and hidden fees, but don't hate just because they ain't Lhuilier! News flash, just because you buy a designer gown doesn't mean hundreds of other brides haven't worn that gown, too. I have probably seen the same Lhuilier or Casablanca gown at least several times on different brides on different wedding blogs. Sure, quality might be the difference, although some critics say some lesser known or non-wedding brands rival some of the big designer guns. Denise and Alan Fields of Bridal Bargains (a book I highly suggest before you start wedding planning) give J. Crew a raving "A" in quality and service while the revered Vera Wang scores a "C." tsk, tsk! And if you think your designer gown was lovingly handmade by a skilled seamstress, think again. According to the Fields, many of these gowns are made by machine in factories overseas. How's that for a $1000+ gown?

Look, I'm not a label snob. Sure, like any style conscious girl, I love the designer looks. If you look great in it and it fits your budget, go for it! But don't limit your search because of the stigma of labels. Buy it because you look and feel great in it, and you can afford it!

So how do make your mass-produced or designer gown your very own? Accessorize, darling! I've seen a simple, strapless $99 David's Bridal gown look fab with a floral sash. I've seen a gown completely transformed with lovely lace bolero, or even with just a set of bold jewelry and hair accessories. David's Bridal even has detachable sleeves you can add to your strapless gown! The options are limitless!

Bolero: Style Me Pretty, Brooches: Perfect Bound, Flower sashes: Source, Flower Hair Accessory by Myra Kim: Style Me Pretty, Detachable Cap Sleeves: David's Bridal, Sash: Style Me Pretty, Lella Foster jewelry: Style Me Pretty

So, how are you making your wedding dress your very own? What accessories are you adding?

Finding "The One"

I expected to burst out into tears when I found "The One," but when my tear ducts remained dry, I was discouraged. Isn't that what everyone said I was supposed to do? Like all of sudden, have this, "You had me at hello," bond with a dress? I didn't. But when I finally made up my mind on The Dress, I was ecstatic. Really. I actually did this goofy dance, clapped my hands and jumped. Nerdy, huh? But that was my reaction.

*Future Hubby, if you are reading this, DO NOT READ FURTHER!

The case for sleeves

I may be going against the grain here. I might be bunking wedding fashion sensibility of say the last decade or so. But I'm just not feeling strapless. I know I'm dissing 90% of wedding gowns out there, but it's true. You see one strapless white gown, you feel like you've seen them all. Don't get me wrong, but strapless is quite lovely. Beautiful, really. But I never really saw myself as the the long, svelte model with the posture of a graceful swan who can really pull the look off.

I'm not saying strapless has got to go. I'm just saying it would be nice to have some variety out there. Yes, I'd like sleeves, straps, or maybe even just an interesting neckline, but I don't want to look like this:

Much too modest for my taste.

A saleswoman at one of my last visits to a bridal shop got frustrated with my no-strapless policy, considering her selection of non-strapless gowns was pretty shabby.

"Strapless has been the main style trend for the last decade," she said. "We only carry the styles that are popular in the elite wedding fashion scene." Meaning, non-strapless is soooo out. Listen, I didn't need a lecture on what's in, lady. I don't need you telling me that if I don't wear a strapless gown, I'm taking several years back in wedding fashion. Just find me a gorgeous gown with sleeves!

Then I found this article on Ivanka Trump's regal wedding gown!

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It was designed by Vera Wang and I love it! Modesty meets elegant and chic. Very lovely. Can the dress spark a renewed interest in sleeves for brides out there? Maybe. But even Vera gets strapless overload: "I've been doing strapless for 15 years. It's tiring."

The tale of mystery gowns

I have a bone to pick, so forgive me if this sounds too harsh. I walked into a bridal shop...heck, I'm gonna be ruthless and just name which one: Bella Sposa in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. I was looking to try on an Eden bridal gown that I had seen before and had found the store on the Eden web site.

Here's the dress I tried on:

I thought it was simple, yet lovely, nice lines--beautiful! Actually, I had tried on this dress at another store, but the sample was way too small for me. So I decided to try a dress closer to my size.

When I tried on the gown, the sales associate made comments like, "Oh, this dress is just so plain," or "I don't know if I like this one on you." Well, true the dress didn't look great on me, but the sample was about 8 sizes too big, and the girl didn't even make an attempt to clip the back so I can see how it should look on me! When I asked how much they were selling the gown for, the sales associate ignored me and said she wanted me try on other gowns that would "look better on me."

She brought back a couple, and the first one she brought out was, I admit, gorgeous. It was v-neck, A-line with straps. Oh, how the sales associate gushed over this dress. She even grabbed a veil and put a hair clip on me. She kept saying how much of a great deal she can give me for the dress.

$599. It's a good price! Better than what other stores will sell it to you for!

 When I asked who the designer was, she hesitated.

I can't tell you the designer. It's against store policy.

Whaaa???? I can't know the name and brand of the dress I might buy??? Then how the hell am I supposed to know if I am getting a great deal? When I checked for tags on the dress, I found that the store had simply replaced the tags with their own store tag, eliminating the manufacturer's name.

Shady? Um, yeah! It's ILLEGAL!

Under the Textile Fiber Products Identification Act of 1963, retailers must disclose pertinent information, including the manufacturers name. Usually, this info is included on dress tags, but some shops will go through a loophole and simply replace the tags with store tags (as Bella Sposa did). You can read more information on this law here.

But it is still unlawful and extremely unethical for shops to refuse to disclose information before purchase of a gown. You don't after all, walk into a car dealership and purchase a car not knowing if it was a Honda or Kia.

So how do you protect yourself? Well, I simply walked out of the store, refusing to do business with them. But what if you found your dream dress? Now the shop really has you cornered! Well, I think there are definitely ways to track down the dress without succumbing to them. I was reading a WeddingBee board post about a girl who had gone through the same thing. She simply had a friend snap a few photos of the dress on the DL even though the shop wouldn't allow photography (hey, all's fair in love and war, right?) and posted the pics on the WeddingBee forum. With fellow Bees' help, she found her gown!

My visit with Bella Sposa has only pushed me further into being completely jaded with the dress shopping experience. I feel like shops are out there trying to scam and steal from me whenever they can! I know that not all shops are shady and I shouldn't be so paranoid, but it doesn't make me feel empowered at all. So, what did I do? I filed a report against Bella Sposa with the FTC and the BBB. I wrote cautionary reviews on Yelp and Project Wedding.

Yes, this is the wrong bride to mess with!!!

I concede defeat

The dress and I were not meant to be. I've been told that my FSIL wouldn't mind at all, "she wouldn't mind if you wore her dress," but what it comes down to is that I don't want to wear HER dress. I want to wear my own dress. The Maggie gown is still very much similar to my FSIL's and while I still think that the dress has everything I want, I can't bring myself to wear the dress without feeling some guilt.

So, what now? Keep looking again? I know exactly what I want. I want simple, but chic. I want a slim A-line, V-neck and straps, a fitted bodice and some ruching on it (it slims out the problem areas, folks). I prefer no (or at least minimal) beading. I want a corset and a train. I prefer satin. Wait, that sounds like Maggie again! Doh!

After browsing through Maggie Sotterro gowns, I found these options:

June

V-neck, check, straps, check...but a little too A-line? Not thrilled about the beads, Next.

Then there was this lovely dress:

AD3274

But the empire waist threw me off, and maybe a little too informal.

Then there was this Marilyn gown. Eagerly, I clicked on it to find out more.

But I was disappointed to find this backside view:

Very low back, and not something I'd wear at church. Great on the model, but definitely not on me.

I was getting discouraged until I found this gown.

Meet Vivien:

Not exactly V-neck, but a sweetheart neckline. A-line, with a tad bit of beading on the cap sleeves. I can live with that. There a little brooch on the side and yes, we have a corset back. But the train is a little short for my taste, but I figure I can compensate with a longer veil:

 

Hmmm...possibly...Life does go on after an ended affair.

Different dress, same thing

I'm in a dilemma. I can't keep my mind off of a dress, even though I swore I would never consider her again. But she keeps coming back to me, driving me insane with desire. I must have her. She beckons. I feel like some sleazy dress owner with a habitual wandering eye. Will I ever be happy? Will I ever settle down with just one dress? Will I ever be certain I have the one? No, because I keep thinking about her.

Remember, my Casablanca gown? No, not the trumpet one I had seriously thought was the one. The A-line V-neck strappy gown I thought was mine for a fleeting moment. I came back from the store, excited about the perfect-fit gown in mint condition, ready off the rack for $400! I loved the dress from the moment I slipped her on. She fit me like a glove. She complimented those dreaded hips of mine, not accentuated. Ah, she had me at hello. I didn't buy her, but I was almost sure I'd come back for her again.

But then I discovered she had already been worn. Not just by hundreds, if not thousands, of other brides, but one person that would end our short-lived affair. My future sister in law had already worn that exact same dress just two years before! Would anyone notice? Um, at least one person would. And I don't think that's how I want to start off my relationship with my FSIL! Imagine me wearing her gown! Awkward.

The Casablanca gown

The thing is, after trying on dozens of dresses and looking at countless gowns, I've finally realized which dress I think really compliments my body, the kind of dress I feel comfortable and beautiful in. V-neck, A-line, with a little bit of ruching on the bodice. It's got to have a train. Something that exudes understated elegance, not too many embellishments. Sounds like a dress you can easily find, right? Nope. A non-strapless gown requirement eliminates pretty much 90% of the wedding gowns out there. Not only that, but they're usually covered in beads. Beads can be beautiful, but I can only stand very little of them.

When I would describe the perfect gown to salesladies, their eyes light up like they know exactly what I'm talking about and they come back with, well, what do you know? That damn Casablanca gown. She haunts me yet again.

I've searched high and low for another gown similar, yet different, with not much success. Until, I don't know, the heavens sent me Maggie Sottero with this eerily similar gown:

My eyes bulged out of their sockets, my heart leaped. It was Casablanca 4.0! A definite upgrade. She's made of satin, not taffeta. And while the Casablanca gown had a splash of barely there beads across the bodice, this Maggie Sottero gown is simply shiny satin. But, get this, she has a corset back! Definite plus! Price-wise, she's a little on the high end for me, but still below my maximum budget.

But wait...who am I kidding? She's basically the same dress! Different designer, different material, slight difference on the details, but put the two gowns together and you're seeing double! I called different bridal shops looking for the sample gown and all of them said the same thing --We don't carry this gown, but we have a Casablanca gown just like it... Yeah.

I love this dress. I've never wanted a dress like this before. But will it still be tacky to wear a gown that's kinda, sorta, but not really the same as the one my FSIL wore on her wedding day? I've been told that it shouldn't matter, it won't be the same, my FSIL probably won't even notice. But still, if you were my FSIL, how would you feel? Help! What would you do???

Isn't she loverly?

So who's my fashion inspiration? There are many, but let's start with a timeless classic, the ageless epitome of chic: Audrey Hepburn.

Would have made a "loverly" wedding gown, don't ya think?

bridal shopping blues

I thought searching for the perfect gown would be a lot more fun than it really is. You see,when you think of it, there are not a whole lot of styles to chose from. You'd think designers would try to be more creative with a white dress, but noooo! It's either A) strapless or B) strapless. Give me an interesting neckline to work with folks! Give me modesty with style! Yes, I want straps or sleeves, but give me sexy, too!

You see, here's my dilemma. I'm at an average weight. Not too big, not too small. I'm tall (almost 5'8), but that's all in my legs. From my hips up, I'm more of a short Filipina. My shoulders are narrow, my chest is flat, but my hips...daaayum! They're so wide my sister's nickname for me is "Hipster." I'm also kind of self-consious about my back and shoulders because, well, I've had scoliosis since I was a teenager and I know I can't keep a straight posture at all times. That doesn't give me much to work with when everything is strapless with a plunging back or neckline. And my weird body combination doesn't give me a whole lot of flattering styles to work with.

Not only that, but I'm looking for a style I'm not sure exists. I want something formal enough to wear in a church. I'm partial to a long train. I also don't want anything too extravagant, as we're having a morning wedding/afternoon reception. I also want something unique. Nothing too much like a ballgown. I don't want to look like I'm trying out for Miss Georgia, or anything like that. I want modern, a little modest, but not too stuffy. Something chic, a little vintage. maybe. Something elegant and refined. And...here's the big one...it can't be more than $700 (yes, much more than my previous $250 budget, but still a huge limiting factor in my bridal gown search).

I know I need to order soon. Most dresses take up to 6 months to come in. I'll also need time for alterations. But I haven't really found The Dress. I thought I did, about three times already.  First, I tried on this Alfred Angelo dress:

I thought it flattered my figure, and I especially loved the corset back. With a cute feathery hairpiece, the dress gave off a vintage vibe. But the sample dress I tried on didn't have the A-line look in the photo. It looked more trumpet-style. I thought, I really like this dress, but I didn't want to have my heart set on it right away. I wanted to keep looking.

Then I headed to a bridal shop in Temple City, CA and I tried on a Casablanca #1831

I thought the midriff area really slimmed out those hips of mine. The v-neck actually made me look like I had something there. The sample was a near perfect fit and the shop was going to sell it to me off the rack for $400! But when I went to my fiance's place to think about it, I caught sight of my future sister-in-law's recent wedding photo. It was the same exact dress! Sorry, the dress had already made its debut!

Then I went to a bridal shop in Rancho Cucamonga, CA and tried on another Casablanca dress, #1901

 

I didn't think I would like it because it was a trumpet style and really hugged those hips of mine, but when I tried it on, I don't know, something switched in my head. You see, it had everything I wanted. It was different from all the dresses I've seen. It had a long, beautful train, sleeves and an illusion back. I think another reason why I wanted to love the dress is because the fiance and I had seen it before in a bridal fashion show. He casually mentioned to me that he thought that was the prettiest dress he saw that day. I thought for sure, this is The One!

The shop wouldn't let me take photos, and since I was by myself, I didn't have anyone to snap a few guerilla-style. They even quoted me at $1200! Whaaa? That was way out of my budget range! I went home to do more research on the gown. I saw that the original retail price of the dress was about $1000. They were going to overcharge me by $200!

Then I got a price quote from an authorized online retailer with mostly positive reviews. $700! That was $500 less than what the last shop quoted me at! I called another online retailer with good standing and they quoted me at $640. This retailer offers to beat any authorized online retailer by 5%, so their offered price on the gown became $608. That's about half the price of my very first quote! I was so excited thinking I got a pretty good deal for myself!

Then, I invited my sisters to come see me in the dress. They snapped a few photos when the salesperson wasn't looking. Their verdict? It's nice. Just nice. Not the response I was looking for. I was hoping for Wow! Beautiful! It's gorgeous! Nope. My sister later admitted that the trumpet style wasn't doing much for my figure.

When I saw the photos, I saw what she meant. My hips really did look big in the photos, and yeah, I look nothing like the model in the photo. It didn't look the way I had hoped it would on me. Alas, it's not meant

to be!

So I'm back with a clean slate. It's pretty frustrating. I messed up once before on my dress, and I really want to get it right this time. I think I'll head back to Alfred Angelo and try on that dress again. But it's back to the beginning...again.

I will start working out...tomorrow

I tried on a dress I had already tried on before. Same exact sample dress, same store. Much tighter around the hips than I remembered. Saleswoman had a much harder time zipping up. Oh, holidays! Why must you tempt me with abundance of food!

Vintageous!

Merry Christmas everyone! Wow, it's Christmas, already???? Just thought I'd post an entry for all those looking for something a little different to wear on their wedding day.

I had seriously thought about wearing a vintage wedding dress, but decided I wanted something a little more modern and formal for my gown. But I do love vintage! In fact, I'm thinking of wearing one of my own cream-colored mod 60s dress (a vintage shop find) for my rehearsal dinner. Retro chic is all the rage in the wedding world, but if you don't have time to scour all the vintage shops in your area, check out Vintageous -- an online source for all things vintage. The site offers a selection of wedding dresses with most selling below $300, but the items regularly sell out. These are pretty much one-of-a-kind dresses. Wait too long, you'll see a red SOLD on your dream dress.

I was in heaven checking out all the styles. Here are the wedding styles (or those that can pass as a wedding gown :) still available at the time of this posting.

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This 50s wedding dress is so adorable! And it comes with a cute bolero jacket. $179

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Looking for a full-length gown? This 50's tulle and lace gown might fit the bill! The dress also has a button back. $265

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Some gals might think this too modest, but I think it's very chic a la Grace Kelly in her long-sleeved classic wedding gown. The gown also has a gorgeous train. $315

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How about this shimmering brocade dress? $155

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The photo doesn't do this dress justice. Apparently, it was too snug on the mannequin, so they couldn't button the back (whaa? Too small for the mannequin?) So, if you're smaller than a mannequin, this is a perfect dress! Check out the lace underlay on the bodice underneath the bolero. Very pretty! $190

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Blue is not traditionally worn by brides, but shoot! $88 for this lovely 50s halter dress? Blue is the new white!

The site has more wedding stuff to chose from, as well as non-wedding items. Check it out!

The ultimate newbie mistake: The Gown

Ok, I knew I would be making mistakes along this journey of trying to plan my own wedding, but I never thought -- or at least I hoped -- I wouldn't make one as bad as this. You see, it involves my gown--supposedly the most important decision I'll make during this process. I don't know if this is true, in fact I vehemently opposed this idea at the very beginning. I wanted to prove this position wrong by telling myself I would be happy with any dress, just as long it was white, wearable and won't blow our entire budget. I had this self-righteous, "I would never spend $600 on a dress!" attitude from the very beginning. Thus my $250 gown budget. Thus grabbing the first dress that fit me at $175. Thus my anxiety attack the morning after. And I was feeling the pressure. People kept telling me I had to buy NOW. So I did, and I completely robbed myself of the bridal shopping experience. No, I don't mean having a Say Yes to the Dress entourage fawn over you and criticize you to make you feel like a self-consious princess. I mean having the experience of really looking at the possibilities out there, trying them on and finding the dress that makes you feel beautiful, and waking up in the morning and feeling absolutely thrilled with your purchase.

You see, my original dress, in my opinion, was a good deal. It's a Mori Lee gown, originally retailed at $600 down to $175. It's strapless, satin, beading with a long train and very pretty--if that's what you want. But you see, it wasn't a style I really wanted. I was more enamored with the price than I was with the dress. I was so fixated on staying within budget that I sacrificed what I really wanted just to fit a specific price point. I tried to love the dress...believe me, I did. I kept telling myself that I was just being too self-conscious and insecure, the product of comparing myself to all the gorgeous gowns in the magazines and blogs. I kept telling myself that I loved the dress like some confidence-boosting mantra I repeated each morning. I hung the dress in my room and stared at it everyday. I tried it on and took pictures with me in it. I thought, "I look very pretty in this, so be happy that you didn't spend hundreds more dollars" but I didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel like I loved it. I didn't feel right. It fit my body, but not me, if you know what I mean. In the end, I knew I had made a mistake. I know now that decisions we make now doesn't always have to be about what's cheaper. You have to take into account the decisions that reflect you in the process, or the deal isn't worth the money you saved.

So, with regret and $175 poorer (actually $195 including the tax) I'm resuming my wedding gown search. I plan on selling the Mori Lee gown (e-mail me if you're interested!). But still, I actually feel so much better finding the dress for me. I know that I have time to find another dress, but barely. Sure, it blows my $250 dress budget, but in the end, I'll have a dress that I'll feel proud to have worn on my wedding day, and proud to look at years later when I remember that day. I still am working with a budget (I don't want to spend more than $500), but I'll listen to what my sensibilities are telling me along with my sense. No, I still don't think the dress is the most important decision of the wedding day...but it is important, at least to a style conscious girl like me--(here's a personal tidbit...I work at a fashion magazine).  Stick to your budget, but stick to your own sense of style as well, and you won't have any regrets.

A $75 Watters Dress?

Yes, I found one...only it was four sizes too big! This is actually a delayed post, but I figured people should know about this little gem in LA's downtown. I visited FIDM's Scholarship Store on Ninth and Grand (this was before I bought my dress). Spurred by Broke Ass Bride's unbelievable find, I had to check it out.

The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (or FIDM) Scholarship Store receives cast-offs from other stores and boutiques (mostly from Forever 21). Some are overstock, others are damaged or made with slight imperfections. The money the store raises is used to fund scholarship programs for students of the school. Now, finding a $20 dress that actually isn't falling apart is rare, you really have to be there on a lucky day and time as they receive new shipments daily.

The day I went, I didn't find a great selection of bridal wear. But I found this beautiful Watters dress for a sweet $150.

But get this, everything over $50 is HALF OFF! Meaning that this dress was only $75!

So why didn't I jump at this? Well...it was a size 12. I'm a size 8 and I feared alteration costs would put me back in the range of a normal dress...perhaps even far more than my budget. I didn't think I loved it that much to risk it. So I put it back. Perhaps some other lucky bride has scooped it up!

Then there was this Tadashi gown...

and this one...

both for $25! Perfect for a much more laidback, informal wedding, or perhaps a rehearsal dinner! But alas...no sizes in 8. They were either much to big or too small!

There were tons of evening dresses, styles and colors at even more crazy prices.

But, yes, have a discerning eye, look hard, or make multiple visits, and you just might find a treasure!

And the hits keep coming!

As I started my research into this insane world of weddings, I was warned of the emotional roller coaster once embarked on this journey -- fits of tears, rage, insecurities, anxiety and, yes, joy and excitement. At first, I thought only pathetic,crazy bridezillas who dreamed every second of their lives for this moment experienced these phases of bipolar neurosis. But I think I now know what it all means. I have experienced extreme highs and lows so far, and this weekend has been a great example of this this crazy emotional ride.


Where do I begin? The fiance and I took advantage of a free Friday for the both of us and crossed off a few items on our December to-do list. Friday started off with a great high. We decided to explore the LA Flower mart to scope out prices, materials and inspiration for our DIY centerpieces and bouquets. We walked through rows and rows of all types of flowers at reasonable to cheap, "are-you-fricken-kidding-me?" prices (a review and thoughts about this floral wonderland later). We found gorgeous potted orchids at reasonable bulk prices. We found dozens of carnations and roses at insanely low prices to make beautiful bridesmaids bouquets. We thought, 'Hey, we can do this! Doing our own flowers can't be that scary!'

Then we wandered a few blocks over to the Fashion District where we discovered stylish plum prettiness for our bridesmaids at great deals (that is, under $100! More on this in another post).

We also went to Chinatown for decoration ideas for our Asian/Polynesian-inspired decor. We found mini-bamboo in bundles of 10 for just $3, parasols for $5-$6, string lanterns for a few bucks. My fiance found pocket knives for $5 that would make cool gifts for his groomsmen. We saw the possibilities, the opportunities to create our own wedding ourselves at a price we can afford. Yes!

The excitement and optimism spilled over onto Saturday when we decided to order a small wedding cake. Well, wedding prop more like it. We really don't need a cake. Our restaurant serves cake (chocolate mousse cake far better than any wedding cake I've had), so who needs another slice? But, we gotta cut a cake! ( we don't really, but it's our "splurge" I guess). So we purchased a small, 10 inch round vanilla cake with custard and strawberry filling and buttercream frosting from Ninong's Pastries. Just a simple cake--our baker is going to wrap the base with a purple ribbon (provided by us) and we'll top it with flowers. Put this on an elegant cake stand and we have our cake! The cake itself will cost us only $41.

After our cake tasting, my MOH called me with great news. A friend of hers is breaking into wedding and event planning and offered to help plan our wedding pro bono (in exchange for experience and references, of course). Day-of coordinator issue solved!

Alas, I guess what comes up, must come down. Sunday, we decided to try our luck at the Monique Lhuillier sample sale in LA. Now I know I have my inexpensive Mori Lee gown that is perfectly in our budget. But...it's Monique Lhuillier, yo! We waited for three hours in the cold just to go through the depleted racks of still-overpriced gowns. I love Monique Lhuillier. But these dresses were nowhere to be found.

All were left were dresses ripped to shreds, very simple slip gowns with a $700 label, or dresses that were indeed pretty but not pretty enough to justify the $1900 price tag (at least for myself). I thought perhaps I can find a few bridesmaids dresses in the ready to wear selection, but it didn't offer much selection at all. We left empty-handed. Sure, it was a long shot to find anything considering folks lined up at 4 a.m., but that's 3 hours of my life I won't get back.

Later that evening some family members asked us how our wedding planning was going. With enthusiasm, we described our experience at the flower mart, our plan to DIY our flowers, the potted orchid centerpieces, our DIY bouquets, the mini bamboo favors, the one-tier 10-inch round cake...

The whole time we can see their faces freeze in horror.

What? No florist? Your going to do your own flowers? What? You're just going to have that tiny little Mickey Mouse cake? What? Do you need more money? Get yourself a real cake! You don't want a mediocre wedding!

Ouch! A mediocre wedding? Because we don't care for a cake that reaches the ceiling? I didn't know the value of our wedding was based on a mound of flour, sugar and icing. And...did you call our cake Mickey Mouse?! Oh but wait, the hits keep coming!

Do you want us to get you a real wedding planner? We'll pay for it. Stop messing around and do this the right way. You're only married once, you know.

I take a deep breath, trying to keep my head exploding with:

Messing around? What do you think we've been doing the past three months? Picking our noses? C'mon, finding deals that work for us and people willing to help us didn't fall magical into our laps!

But before I risk deterriorating my good and happy relationship with family, I say through through a pleasant smile:

Thank you for the offer, we really appreciate it. We've put a lot of thought into this and please trust us when we say it's not all about what we can afford but what we truly want...and this is what we want.

We let them put in their two cents: you're making a big mistake, you don't know what you're doing, you're going to embarrass the family....

But that's all we can do. Let them talk and keep doing what we've been doing all along, even if we don't have all the emotional support we'd like. I can't take it all to heart...but I do. I wish I can say I'm a kick-ass, unconventional, I don't care-what-the-eff anyone-says kind of gal like this awesome bride, but I have my insecurities. I can be come up with an idea, be really jazzed about it, and then become easily insecure at one disapproving look or slight pause of hesitation. For two days we had one big accomplishment after another, but it nearly lost much of its shine after people close to us actually said our wedding embarrassed them. I can take other people's BS, but our families...geez, it's not like it's my goal to embarrass family.

The practical side of me knows all of their fears and concerns are complete rubbish. I know they just want us to have a nice wedding, but they're basing it all on superficial standards. But the other side of me -- self-concious, emotional side--just wants to impress. I loved our cake idea and thought it can look really cute. But damn, I don't want people thinking I've got a Mickey Mouse cake!

In the end, I know what side should prevail in this situation. We have the wedding we want, not what anyone says we should want. We like our potted orchid idea, so take that! We're going to DIY our flowers, so take that! We like our Mickey Mouse cake, so take that! In the end, there will be no regrets (ok, hopefully few) but it will be a wedding that feels comfortable for us, a wedding we're proud of, a wedding that didn't scream years of more debt. Because, you know, you're only married once!

The emergency lipstick remover

One of the cautionary tales people will tell you about buying your dress off the rack or at a sample sale is the amount of money you'll spend on removing stains and alterations. When everything's said and done, you can spend hundreds more dollars on a dress that was initially a steal. Personally, I think the dress can still be a huge deal depending how much you purchased the dress. A new dress can still need alterations, and if you're careful with your purchase you'll spot expensive stains or alterations before buying the dress.

Well, here is where I may have made a rash mistake. I purchased my Mori Lee gown for a cheap $175 during a sample sale at a bridal expo. It was well within my budget of $250 and a style I'm very happy with - white, A-line with an elegant train. I still need the top tightened a bit (my aunt used to be a seamstress and she offered to make the alterations), but I noticed a small lipstick stain under the armpit -- a stain I think I accidently made while trying on the dress. I figured I would easily get the dress dry-cleaned. How much would that cost, right? Well, dry-cleaning a wedding dress can cost upwards of $100.

While I initially thought I would spend the money to get the dress cleaned, I thought, 'It's just one stain. Can I remove it myself?' I googled, "removing lipstick stains," and I found these tips: Try removing the stain with a delicate wash cloth soaked in warm water. If that doesn't work, use a little bit of liquid dish washing soap. Since lipstick is an oil-based stain, dish washing soap might help remove the stain, if not lighten it until it's barely noticeable.

Sure enough, it worked! The lip stick stain is no longer there and the dress looks brand new! No need for the extra cash in getting the dress dry-cleaned! Now, it's time to get the dress altered...

* Note: You might not want to attempt this on large, very noticeable stains. I say, if it's larger than a dime and the stain has been there awhile, get it drycleaned!

The Dress Envy begins

I know I have my dress, but I covet this dress, and any dress by this Filipino designer: Veluz Reyes.  Elegant, stylish, yet modest. Beautiful!

Veluz Reyes

How can you not like details like this?