No Regrets...OK, Maybe a Couple

Monday, September 5, 2011 | by Newlywed | Labels: , | 18 comments

I wrote before on the topic of having no regrets, absolutely loving your day regardless of what trouble/mini disasters came your way.
Well, I still believe in that positive affirmation, and regardless of what happened, whatever detail wasn't immortalized in our wedding album, our wedding was truly a very special day for the both us.
But...I would be lying if there are a couple things that I would reconsider if some magic time machine took me back to the moment we sat down and said, "Let's plan this thing."

1) Daytime versus Nighttime
We had a lunch wedding. It saved us a ton of money. Our wedding venue was a fantastic place. But...I still wonder, what if we had a nighttime wedding? Would more people have danced on the dance floor? Thanks to our fun-loving, energetic college buddies and my adorable flower girls, the dance floor wasn't empty. But my usually-dance-happy Filipino family just wasn't feeling it at 4 p.m. I don't really think of this as a regret, but it is something I do think about. We did search far and wide for a dinner option that fit our budget (that included everything else in our wishlist), but we decided that we could forego dinner for all the other things we deemed more important. The money we saved was a great asset to us--without it, we would have struggled big time financially. I wouldn't give up the things we did have in lieu of a dinner wedding, but sometimes I do wonder if there was a possible dinner venue out there for us.

2) The Guest List
Yes, I know, I've discussed the trials and tribulations of deciding who the "lucky" folks to be present at our wedding would be. I never would want to go through that torture again. I never really felt comfortable with putting a value on people I did care about -- who we like more, who would be rather see at our wedding. Growing up, my family always threw parties and it was always the more the merrier. I wish I had more of my family sharing in our special day. I wish I could have invited more of our friends. We couldn't invite children, and although our was a sophisticated affair, having children at the wedding probably would have made it more light-hearted and fun. But throwing a budget wedding, you have to be conscious of the number of people you invite. I still wouldn't have caved in to the pressure of the obligatory invites, but I think we would have tried to add more people. Of course, something else would have had to give...don't know what, but no use in worrying about it now!

So, yes, now you have it--sure there may be some things you would change if you had the chance, maybe researched a little more, and maybe some things you regret. But in the end, worrying about it, or dwelling on it, doesn't really do you any good. I say, when you plan your wedding really think about what's important to you. Realize that you may have to give up some things, but be at peace with it. 

I say, thinking about the would-have, could-have, should-haves every now and then is normal. We're human and our weddings were a big one-time deal. But I think about all the positives that made that day the unique, memorable, unforgettable moment it was for the both of us, and those tinges of regrets fade away.