I'm afraid David Tutera and all those wedding etiquette gurus will have a fit once they hear my stance on wedding party attire--I don't care. Really, I don't. Ok, maybe a little. We set a color and dress length for the bridesmaids, and basically told the groomsmen to wear whatever we chose at Men's Wearhouse (seriously, with the guys, just telling them what to wear would be much easier than making
them choose). Other than that, everyone else can wear whatever they want. I don't care what color socks or cuff links the men wear, I don't care what jewelry the women pick (although I did suggest gold to match our colors). And get this, I even told them they can wear what they already have! Some will say I'll feel differently when I see the photos, but I can't imagine a slight deviation of color coordination or style ruining my day.
I'm not a big fan of matchy-matchy wedding parties. Don't get me wrong, it looks great and I admire them, but it never interested me to spend time worrying about coordinating down to minute details--jewelry, shoes, silhouette, hair. We have a few more members in our wedding party with 6 sponsors (a Filipino wedding custom where individuals assume responsibility to offer spiritual and emotional support for the couple). With 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, the mothers and fathers, flower girls, ring bearer and sponsors, I would go crazy worrying about what every single person is wearing!
But here's a rundown. Our bridesmaids will wear their dresses of their choice (my only requirements were they had to be the same color and length). Here's what each of them chose.
Same color - Amethyst- but all different styles. Am I worried about that? I actually like how each dress really captures each bridesmaid's personality and I think they all look great. One bridesmaid is wearing a maternity dress she'll have hemmed into tea length. It's also a different fabric (none of the maternity gowns came in satin), but no, it's not the end of the world. Ignore what David Tutera says, no one will care or notice.
The groomsmen are wearing matching suits with plum-colored ties from
Men's Wearhouse, similar to this:
But my father, the male sponsors and our ring bearer are wearing barongs, traditional Filipino formal wear made of jusi, or hand-embroidered pineapple fibers.
Most of them already own their barongs (from previous weddings and formal occasions) so I didn't see the need for them to buy new attire. Barongs can be quite expensive in the states as the fabric is imported from the Philippines.Why not give them excuse to wear their barongs again? Besides, our ceremony will involve traditional Filipino components, so it seemed right to allow the Filipino men to wear their barongs if they wanted to. We told the female sponsors to wear whatever they want just as long at it's church appropriate for a warm, summer day. They could color coordinate with the wedding colors if they want to, but I'm not going to check on them.
We haven't picked the flower girl dresses yet, but I'm leaning toward something simple, like this except with a plum-purple sash:
When my mom asked me what she should wear to the wedding, I told her, "Whatever you want, Mom." She gave me that sideways, "No, really," look. I told her, "Seriously, whatever you think looks good. I trust your judgement." After a pause that said, "You're not much of a help," I said, "Why don't you wear your kimona?" Kimonas are traditional Filipino formal tops also made of jusi fabric. Like barongs, they're also pretty expensive in the states. They're hand-embroidered and the details are really quite lovely.
My mom was surprised that I was letting her wear her kimona again. She did wear it to my sister's wedding 7 years ago. I told her she can wear it only if she paired it with a different skirt (the skirt she wore to my sister's wedding was a bright lilac and would clash with our wedding colors--yes, the only part where I'm picky!)
So we found a long, plum-colored satin skirt at the Jessica McClintock outlet for a mere $16. (If there's one near you, check it out. You'll find discounts on evening wear -- including bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses-- for 75% off!). MOB dress: check!
The mother of the groom is also wearing the dress she wore at her daughter's wedding, a champagne-colored gown with a matching jacket (my dress is white, so no worries about the MOG wearing a neutral color). The father of the groom will wear a tux he owns and wears to formal occasions. Seriously, I'm happier knowing members in my wedding party didn't have to spend an arm and a leg, or buy an entirely different outfit for one day. I'm glad that some can actually wear outfits they've worn once before again. Am I worried about clashes of Filipino traditional and western traditional? Am I worried about a mixture of styles? Or maybe that the MOB and MOG won't look like twins on our wedding day? No. Because in the end, they'll all wear something they like, feel comfortable in and truly reflects each of them. I think that would make a far more interesting photo than one cookie-cutter, matching fest.
