Wedding Lesson #4: Trust Your Gut

Trying to relax while my stylist works on me. Personal photo.

Saturday morning came around, bright and early...ok maybe not really bright, but it was definitely early. We woke up at 5 a.m., and with my headache gone, I was ready to start the day! I had resolved to not let anything keep me from enjoying the day, that no matter what freak-out inducing bomb might appear, I'd just file under the "worry-about-later" category and move on. Little did I know that one big one would drop on me real soon!

At 5:45 a.m., my stylist, the wonderful Michelle Kimme, arrived at my hotel room to set up for my hair and makeup appointment at 6 a.m. Two of my bridesmaids, my mom-in-law and mom, met in my mom's hotel room for their hair and makeup appointment where my second stylist would work on them.

Ok, this calls for a little background info.

I was about to go through the Paul Mitchell School's Design Team (at $65 a person, they were a great deal), but they couldn't offer on-location styling, which we needed since we all had to be at the church by 9 a.m. I decided to book my own hair and makeup stylist through my wedding coordinator who gave her a great reccomendation. She offered on location hair and makeup styling, including a trial, for $221.

Since my mom, mother-in-law and two of my bridesmaids wanted hair and makeup as well, I had to find one that fit their budget. I didn't have much to work with: less than $60. So I hit Craigslist, since that seemed to be the mecca of deals and bargains.

I contacted several stylists and I found one with a good portfolio and an affordable price. She offered to work on all four ladies for $210. She was a freelance stylist who was in her last year of styling school. I decided to take a chance on her.

Before the wedding, we met and talked about the styles.

The thing is, I should have trusted my gut about this girl. For one, she said she would have her own freelance contract for me to sign, but she didn't. Luckily, I brought my own contract stating the services and the time, date and location of the agreed services, which she and I both signed. I mean, what professional doesn't have their own business contract?

And also...she didn't make a whole lot of eye contact with me. She also seemed like she was in a hurry to leave. These should have been a no brainer...I should not have trusted this girl. But I was under a lot of pressure to find a decent on-location stylist at an affordable price in a hurry (we were two weeks out from the wedding) and in my naive thinking, I thought a contract and a deposit (I paid her half the fee) would seal the deal.

But I guess I was wrong...6 a.m., our agreed upon call time, came and went. At 6:15 a.m., I called our stylist. No answer. I emailed. I texted. No answer. At 6:45 a.m., still no stylist and my bridesmaids and moms gave up. They had waited nearly an hour, taking an hour out of our already tight schedule. My stylist worked on the two bridesmaids, but there was no time to work on the mothers. We all had to be at the church at 9 a.m.

I felt horrible. I felt soooo bad. My bridesmaids and moms assured me that everything was fine (the moms said they would rather do their own hair and makeup anyway). Although my stylist's fees for bridesmaids' hair and makeup was considerably higher ($100 per bridesmaid) she was a lifesaver. A true professional. We decided to cover the difference for the bridesmaids and they looked fabulous! And, yes, I loved my hair and makeup! Sometimes it is worth it to pay more for piece of mind and a true professional.

I was still determined not to let this debaucle ruin the rest of the day. So, once we got our hair and makeup done, and I got helped into my dress, we sprinted to the cars  (yes, sprinted) to make it to the church at the call time of 9 a.m.  I had forgotten everything else by then.I was getting married. Nothing was going to get in the way of that. Not even an irresponsible, shady stylist I found off of Craigslist.

So 1) trust your gut about people you enter into a contract with. Do they seem like trustworthy, dependable people? If not, walk --  no run -- far, far away!, 2) Always have a contract. After the wedding and honeymoon, I had to bug this girl for 2 weeks before I was able to receive my deposit back in full. (Her excuse was that she got into a car accident the morning of the wedding...um, sure). I reminded her that I had a contract which she signed and if she didn't return my money, she would receive the full legal wrath. 3) I'm not saying Craigslist is bad (it's been a lifesaver for a lot of budget brides) but have caution when dealing with people there. There are definitely some crooks.

Wedding Recap: Our Bridesmaids' gifts

We had a pretty big wedding party--Four bridesmaids, four groomsmen, four flower girls, a ring bearer, our parents and, according to Filipino tradition, six sponsors. We decided we wanted to give everyone thank you gifts for their participation and help. This also included gifts to our ceremony readers, wedding shower hostess gifts and thank you gifts to people who helped us out for free (our MC, the family friend who made our gorgeous ceremony flowers, etc).  That's 29 gifts! Even if we spent $20 a gift (which hardly buys anything these days) it would have really killed our budget.

But thanks to connections at work, blogging, online discounts, bargain hunting and giveaways, I was able to score some really awesome gifts for everyone on our gift list for under $300! First up, our bridesmaids' gifts. My bridesmaids really helped us out, whether with planning, performing tasks, hooking us up with great vendors or giving us a generous amount of money for the wedding. So obviously I wanted to spoil them with nice goodies! Instead of going for one expensive gift (which I couldn't afford) I decided to go with a grab bag full of smaller awesome gifts. Sure, I may have gone overboard with the gifts...but I really wanted to show them how much I appreciated them!

Each bridesmaid got a small clasp clutch purse from brands such as Lena Lime Studio, Amanda Pearl (thank you Merci New York!) and Stila Cosmetics.

Personal photo

Lena Lime clutch purse for my MOH

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Amanda Pearl clutch for my Matron of Honor (her's was actually pink)

I purchased two Stila makeup clutches from Beautycrunch.com for my 2 bridesmaids (both for less than $22 each)

I filled each purse with makeup from Stila, Urban Decay, Loreal, Senna, Sephora and Clinique.

 I also scored some beauty products from Moroccan Oil, Loreal and Morning's Mist Country Store through connections at work and sponsors of my blog.

 

 

They also received handmade soap from Morning's Mist Country Store and Sweet Sally Soaps (thank goodness for blog giveaways!).

 

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 On top of all that, they received handmade Hawaiian jewelry from Kreations by Kawai: and this Hawaiian jeweler on etsy

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The blue Tahitian shell pearl necklace I gave to bridesmaid #2

 

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The Lotus Flower Necklace for my Matron of Honor

 

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The Opihi shell necklace I gave to bridesmaid #1

 

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The Opihi shell necklace I bought for my MOH

And, wait, there's more!  They each received genuine pearl earrings:

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Guy and Eva mother of pearl earrings for my MOH

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 Mother of Pearl earrings from House of Peltier for my Matron of Honor

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 Freshwater pearl earrings from Dazzling Jewelry and Pearls for Bridesmaid #1

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 and Freshwater Pearl Earrings from Bellalu and Me for Bridesmaid #2

I put their gifts in cute lauhala bags I ordered from Ailana Kai, an online shop based out of Honolulu. Each tote was only $2.50 each!

Personal Photo

So, for four grab bag of goodies for each of my bridesmaids (including tax and shipping), I spent a total of $120! A huge thank you to my blog sponsors and blog giveaways!!!!

I also gave my MOH and Matron of Honor extra gifts for being so helpful and hosting our wedding shower. I gave my MOH a bangle bracelet from Guy and Eva:

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And my Matron of Honor received a handstamped mother of pearl necklace with each of her three daughters' names from The Vintage Pearl

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And since my mom helped my ladies put on a nice party, we gave her a gift certificate for a free massage at a nearby spa. Total for all 3 hostess gifts? $30. For realz. Enter those giveaways!!!

Coming up: Our groomsmen's gifts

Wedding Lesson #3: Forget DIY, Be a DIT Bride

(personal photo)

The boutonnieres my aunt and cousin made as I nursed a migraine

So when I last left you, I was stressing out big time over my last minute Taualuga dance and my DIY flowers. By evening time, when I planned to work on the bridesmaids' bouquets and flowers, my headache had gone from bad to worse. I was feeling nauseous and dizzy. I couldn't stand up upright without feeling like I would puke. We decided to work on the flowers in the hotel where everyone was staying in the night before the wedding. My MOH, Matron of Honor and even one of our groomsmen came to help me cut the leaves, stems and thorns from flowers. Thank goodness our potted orchid centerpieces were pretty much already done. My FH simply put them all in their pots and covered the soil with moss and voila! Our centerpieces were taken care of!

But by the time I had put together one bridesmaid bouquet, I decided to give up. My head was pounding and my body was telling me to get some rest.There was no way I could finish the rest of the flowers. I needed to go to bed.
But then my aunt and cousin came knocking on our door. They had just come to see how we were doing and bless their souls, they took on the rest of the flowers! They knew exactly what to do because they've done bouquets and corsages for church-related events before. They did an absolutely beautiful job--even better job than what I could have done without a migraine! My aunt and cousin used several leftover roses from the bridesmaid bouquets, baby's breath and purple orchids to make the bouts. I was able to get the sleep I needed while they made the rest of the bouquets and all the pretty bouts for our groomsmen, sponsors and parents.

My aunt scolded me by saying I should have asked her earlier for her help. There's no reason for me to try to do it all on my own. She's right.

My lovely bridesmaids with their bouquets (photo taken by a friend)

So don't be afraid to ask for help. Forget being the super-DIY bride all the time. You can't do it all on your own. Do-it-together -- with friends and family who really do want to help -- and take some of that load off your shoulders. A bride needs her beauty sleep you know!

Shower us w/ your love: Our Wedding Shower/Bride's night out

Ah, yes, we have returned home from our honeymoon and as we start getting settled into married life, I've realized...I haven't blogged -- really blogged -- since right before our wedding shower. That was more than 2 weeks ago, yo! So, to make up for lost time, I'm starting where I left off, culminating in wedding and honeymoon recaps galore!

So, to start off, let's talk shower shall we?

First, I insisted on couple's shower. I don't feel comfortable being the sole center of attention. Besides, I've always felt like this wedding was our wedding, not some me, me, me lovefest. The shower also fell on the weekend on my fiance's birthday, so it became a shower/birthday party. I let my mom and Maid and Matron of Honor take over the shower planning completely, which they insisted on doing. The only thing I did was give them addresses for the paper invites and email addresses for the evites. Oh, and I did win these cute shower paper invites from a blog giveaway:

Amanda from Dawn Correspondence customized this design for our wedding shower

I told my MOH and Matron of Honor not to spend too much money on the party, either. I think they pulled off a fun, cute event on a limited budget very nicely! The shower was a laidback, intimate affair with a few of our close family and friends. My MOH organized some fun games, including wedding taboo (which the fiance and I totally kicked ass in since --ahem--we're pretty knowledgeable on wedding stuff by now), a couple's trivia quiz and this game:

Those are my nieces trying to grab as many safety pins (closed of course) from a bowl of rice blindfolded. Actually a lot harder than it looks. The adults played, too, but the kids pretty much showed them up! I thought my MOH was pretty generous in prizes, too -- Coffee Bean and In N Out gift cards and 2 movie passes!

Playing Wedding Taboo

My MOH also made this wedding scrapbook for us and had guests write notes of advice and well wishes to put in it:

My Matron of Honor made these cute favors for guests to take home:

 

My niece admiring the pretty bouquet my Matron of Honor (her mom) arranged.

And there was food...lot's of it!

And there was cake -- a wedding shower/30th b-day cake!

Afterwards, we opened gifts...just some advice for folks attending a bridal/wedding shower: if you're going to give a naughty gift to the bride, let her know before she opens it...chances are, her mom or dad might be right there as she opens it (yes, it did happen!)

And later that night, my MOH and Matron of Honor took me out for a mini-bachelorette party at nearby Sevilla's for drinks and salsa dancing:

The day was such a lovely day and my fiance and I were really happy with how it all turned out. We gave our hostesses each thank you gifts: a massage at a nearby spa for my mom, a bracelet from Guy and Eva for my MOH, and a handstamped pearl necklace (with names of her three daughters) from The Vintage Pearl for my Matron of Honor.

Next up: Rehearsal Dinner recaps!

My DIY bridesmaid bouquet, part II

OK, I know I've missed my weekly installment of Freebie Friday this week, but I promise to have a lengthy batch for next Friday! But in the meantime, we got much done this weekend. Such as another bridesmaid bouquet trial! I tried one months ago with carnations, but this time we got a little more adventurous. Here's the inspiration photo:

Here's what I came up with:

I used 3 yellow orchids, 10 yellow roses and 2 calla lillies. The bouquet was pretty easy, except for the orchids which can be kind of tricky. You'll need floral wire to insert into the stem, as they their stems aren't long enough. After that, just bunch them together, tape with floral tape, wrap your favorite ribbon around the stems and secure with corsage pins (make sure you pin in a downward motion). For the final run, I'll replace the calla lillies with billy balls (they're cheaper), and use a more lighter shade of yellow for the roses. I made four bouquets for less than $40 (using flowers we purchased at the LA Flower Mart).

I also made a trial boutonniere for the groomsmen. I didn't think we'd be able to give boutonnieres for our groomsmen since our ceremony is in the morning and I assumed that boutonnieres needed to be made the day of to stay fresh for the wedding. But I tried one anyone using a leftover rose from our DIY bouquet.

I simply cut a rose two inches down the stem, added a little baby's breath, taped down with floral tape and wrapped a ribbon around the stem. Use a corsage pin to pin it down on the jacket and voila! You have a boutonniere!

 

I refridgerated the boutonniere in a corsage box overnight and the boutonniere stayed fresh for two days.

Are you DIYing your flowers? Any advice for brides going the DIY route? 

Vendor Spotlight and GIVEAWAY: Lena Lime Studio

Clutch purses are very popular items to give to your bridesmaids, but they can pretty pricey. As much as you love and appreciate your bridesmaids, your budget may not allow for showering them with $100 clutches. But when I came upon Lena Lime Studio on Etsy, I found affordable, yet completely darling clutches at reasonable prices. Dana from Lena Lime Studio handmakes clutches with a cool retro vibe. All of her clutches are made to order and you can chooese from a variety of fabrics. Check out these cuties!

I received an awesome 7" clutch from Dana and I was digging the mod 60s pattern of the cotton fabric! The purse is small and cute, but still pretty useful. Put a small wallet, some makeup and your phone in each purse and you can step out for the day in style! Each purse comes with metal clasp and make wonderful bridal party gifts or an accessory to compliment any outfit.

Without further ado, here's Dana from Lena Lime Studio!
When did you start Lena Lime Studio?
I started my business officially in January of 2010. I had dreamed of doing it for months but never could find the time to sit down and do the prep work for my site: research, website, pictures, etc. But then one evening, I broke my foot! I was grounded in my chair for a couple weeks and found plenty of time to do lots of work!

How would you describe the products you sell?
Beautiful, useful, and handmade!

What got you started in creating handmade bags?
My passion for sewing and wanting to make things I could use everyday. What's more useful than a gorgeous new bag?!

Which from your collection is your favorite and why?
It's so hard to choose! I'd have to say my clasp purses. If you would have told me 5 years ago that I'd be able to make one, I would have laughed and shook my head. They symbolize a successful business that I had never known was possible!

Tell me something unique about your bags.
My bags are loved. I take a lot of time to make each one and make sure its perfect (probably too much). From spending hours at fabric stores to make sure I have the right color match to spending hours planning the best outcome for each textile before I make a single cut. I won't make it or sell it if I'm not completely in love with it!

You can tell a lot about a person from what they wear. What can we tell about a woman and her purse?
I'd say, the bigger the purse, the more prepared that woman is! A woman who can leave the house with a small bag that just holds a phone and keys is brave. A woman with a giant bag full of answers for the "what ifs?" is talking my language! Got to love a big purse that can even hold the kitchen sink.

Links where we can find out more of your work:
http://www.lenalimestudio.etsy.com/

WIN IT:

Win a 7" clutch, or $20 gift certificate towards a large bridal order. Winner can choose from Dana's collection of fabric patterns.

The Rules

1) MANDATORY ENTRY! Go to Lena Lime Studio on Etsy and comment on your favorite item and which fabric you would choose (visit Dana's Flickr account to view her list of fabrics). This is mandatory! Contestants who do not do this will be disqualified. Remember to leave your email address or some way to contact you with each entry!

Additional entries (remember to leave separate comments for each additional entry)

2) Become a new follower of this blog. You must follow publicly (1 entry)
3) Are currently a follower of my blog (2 entries)
4) Become a facebook fan of “I Do” Budget Weddings (2 entries)
5) Become a facebook fan of Lena Lime Studios (2 entries)
6) Blog about the contest and include a link to the giveaway. Each entrant must also include a link to Lena Lime Studio in their post (3 entries) Please include a direct link to your blog post in your comment.
7) Buy anything from Lena Lime Studio (5 entries)
8) Follow “I Do” Budget Weddings on Twitter (1 entry)
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The deadline to enter this contest is 11:59 p.m., July 21, 2010 (PST). A winner will be randomly chosen. Good luck!
*As the host of this giveaway, I received a clutch purse for review, however the opinions expressed here are my own honest observations of the product and shop.

Dressing the Wedding Party: Wear it again

I'm afraid David Tutera and all those wedding etiquette gurus will have a fit once they hear my stance on wedding party attire--I don't care. Really, I don't. Ok, maybe a little. We set a color and dress length for the bridesmaids, and basically told the groomsmen to wear whatever we chose at Men's Wearhouse (seriously, with the guys, just telling them what to wear would be much easier than making them choose). Other than that, everyone else can wear whatever they want. I don't care what color socks or cuff links the men wear, I don't care what jewelry the women pick (although I did suggest gold to match our colors). And get this, I even told them they can wear what they already have! Some will say I'll feel differently when I see the photos, but I can't imagine a slight deviation of color coordination or style ruining my day.

I'm not a big fan of matchy-matchy wedding parties. Don't get me wrong, it looks great and I admire them, but it never interested me to spend time worrying about coordinating down to minute details--jewelry, shoes, silhouette, hair. We have a few more members in our wedding party with 6 sponsors (a Filipino wedding custom where individuals assume responsibility to offer spiritual and emotional support for the couple). With 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, the mothers and fathers, flower girls, ring bearer and sponsors, I would go crazy worrying about what every single person is wearing!

But here's a rundown. Our bridesmaids will wear their dresses of their choice (my only requirements were they had to be the same color and length). Here's what each of them chose.

 

Eden Bridals

Same color - Amethyst- but all different styles. Am I worried about that? I actually like how each dress really captures each bridesmaid's personality and I think they all look great. One bridesmaid is wearing a maternity dress she'll have hemmed into tea length. It's also a different fabric (none of the maternity gowns came in satin), but no, it's not the end of the world. Ignore what David Tutera says, no one will care or notice.

The groomsmen are wearing matching suits with plum-colored ties from Men's Wearhouse, similar to this:

But my father, the male sponsors and our ring bearer are wearing barongs, traditional Filipino formal wear made of jusi, or hand-embroidered pineapple fibers.

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Most of them already own their barongs (from previous weddings and formal occasions) so I didn't see the need for them to buy new attire. Barongs can be quite expensive in the states as the fabric is imported from the Philippines.Why not give them excuse to wear their barongs again? Besides, our ceremony will involve traditional Filipino components, so it seemed right to allow the Filipino men to wear their barongs if they wanted to. We told the female sponsors to wear whatever they want just as long at it's church appropriate for a warm, summer day. They could color coordinate with the wedding colors if they want to, but I'm not going to check on them.

We haven't picked the flower girl dresses yet, but I'm leaning toward something simple, like this except with a plum-purple sash:

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When my mom asked me what she should wear to the wedding, I told her, "Whatever you want, Mom." She gave me that sideways, "No, really," look. I told her, "Seriously, whatever you think looks good. I trust your judgement." After a pause that said, "You're not much of a help," I said, "Why don't you wear your kimona?" Kimonas are traditional Filipino formal tops also made of jusi fabric. Like barongs, they're also pretty expensive in the states. They're hand-embroidered and the details are really quite lovely.
My mom was surprised that I was letting her wear her kimona again. She did wear it to my sister's wedding 7 years ago. I told her she can wear it only if she paired it with a different skirt (the skirt she wore to my sister's wedding was a bright lilac and would clash with our wedding colors--yes, the only part where I'm picky!)

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Jessica McClintock

So we found a long, plum-colored satin skirt at the Jessica McClintock outlet for a mere $16. (If there's one near you, check it out. You'll find discounts on evening wear -- including bridal gowns and bridesmaid dresses-- for 75% off!). MOB dress: check!

The mother of the groom is also wearing the dress she wore at her daughter's wedding, a champagne-colored gown with a matching jacket (my dress is white, so no worries about the MOG wearing a neutral color). The father of the groom will wear a tux he owns and wears to formal occasions. Seriously, I'm happier knowing members in my wedding party didn't have to spend an arm and a leg, or buy an entirely different outfit for one day. I'm glad that some can actually wear outfits they've worn once before again. Am I worried about clashes of Filipino traditional and western traditional? Am I worried about a mixture of styles? Or maybe that the MOB and MOG won't look like twins on our wedding day? No. Because in the end, they'll all wear something they like, feel comfortable in and truly reflects each of them. I think that would make a far more interesting photo than one cookie-cutter, matching fest.

Predicting the bump: Ordering for a pregnant bridesmaid

*Sigh* Warning, this is a long post, but if you can hang in there, I'd appreciate any advice you can give. The topic? The bridesmaid dresses. On a good note, three of my four bridesmaids have purchased their gowns. I told them they can pick any dress from the Eden Bridesmaids line, just as long as it's tea length, satin and the color amethyst (the closest shade to our purple). I thought that left them enough freedom to find a dress that worked for them...but I suppose I could have given them a little more...
Here's the color:

My MOH will be rockin' this dress:

My Matron of Honor chose this lovely dress::

And my third bridesmaid chose this hot number:

Love the back!

They each purchased their gown from Netbride.com, where they got a sweet deal for $96 for each gown (Not including shipping).

But as you may know from a previous post, one of my bridesmaids is pregnant. I found out after my bridesmaids ordered their gowns. We had been putting off finding the fourth dress for awhile because she was ill during a very difficult first trimester (morning sickness, nausea, migraines, the works). Now she's feeling a little better, we're hitting another snag: finding her dress.

 Eden does have a maternity bridesmaid line but the pickings are slim. My bridesmaid wants to stay with Eden just so she won't look too different from the other girls. The only dress in satin is this dress:

My bridesmaid was leaning toward this dress because it's satin, and she could easily cut the hem to make it tea length. But alas, the dress doesn't come in amethyst.

We looked at the other maternity dresses, but they only come in chiffon:

At this point, I think chiffon is the best choice for her, and the dress will be really nice when it's hemmed to tea length, but we're not sure about how different the colors from satin to chiffon would look. One other option is that she can order satin fabric in amethyst from Eden and have the dress custom made. But we're running out of time (wedding is in four months!) and my bridesmaid is a busy girl (she's a resident doctor). I don't want her to feel pressured into settling for a dress and I don't want her to feel like a burden either (she's not, I'm more annoyed that there aren't many great and affordable maternity options out there). So I told her to pick a dress she really wants. I don't care what fabric it is, and it doesn't have to be the exact shade of purple.

But I think she really wants to stick with Eden. If she does pick a maternity dress from Eden, the next issue is "What size?" The frustrating part is that no one seems to know or can give a good answer (blank stares and crickets every time we ask someone at a bridal shop). Every woman's body is different, and how she grows during pregnancy always varies. This is her first child so she has no idea how big she will get. Since we're looking at dresses with high waists and flowing skirts to accommodate the hip and tummy area, we're trying to figure out the best bust size for her.

Eden maternity size charts go from small to 1X. Right now she's three months along, and will be 7 months pregnant by the time of the wedding. Right now, she's just three inches smaller than an XL (would that be enough room?), but 7 inches smaller than a 1X (is that too big?). My aunt, a seamstress, said she should order big because it's easier to take in than let out, but ordering too big could be a tough alteration job (more time, more money)

So what now? From what I can gather, and what people tell me, here's what I found:

* Order 2 sizes up from pre-pregnancy size. It's always easier to take in than let out the seams.

* If you will be 5 months along or less, you can probably get away with ordering a larger regular bridesmaid dress .

* Since my bridesmaid will be in her third trimester by the time of the wedding, it will be best to order a maternity gown.

* Empire waist styles are always the most flattering for pregnant women. Flowy fabrics like chiffom or silk shantung are best.

If you have any other tips or advice for ordering for a pregnant bridesmaid, let me know! We can definitely use it!