Reality check

Saturday, October 10, 2009 | by Newlywed | Labels: |

Looking through all the wedding sites, blogs and photos (or what $2000 Budget Wedding calls wedding porn), it's tough not feel at least a little insecure about all the things I probably won't be able to afford. I had lunch yesterday with an old friend who helped bring me back to reality. No she didn't try to drill it into my head that $15000 was not feasible for a wedding and a honeymoon. She didn't try to tell me that I'd have to sacrifice quality with a budget like mine. She just said what I was certain of all along: regardless of how much we spend, or if I wear a "cheap" wedding dress, or if we end up using folding chairs for the reception, we'll still have an awesome wedding. What will make it so great is the love my future husband and I have for each other. What will make it beautiful and worthwhile for our guests is simply seeing my fiance and I make that lifelong commitment to one another, because they're close enough to us to care. Whatever happens, whatever kind of wedding we have, all I really care about is being my fiance's wife. The wedding is simply a celebration of that love, and what we really care about, beyond the flower arrangements, the linens, the food or the DJ, is the exciting future of our lives together.

Too often, weddings become a competition. People start comparing and obsessing over the insignificant details. Sometimes, couples feel they must overcompensate with a really extravagant wedding to hide the fact that there really isn't much to the relationship beyond the superficial things. Not that it's a horrible thing to spend tons of money on a wedding. A friend of mine had a gorgeous wedding on a grand estate near the Temecula vineyards. But what truly made the wedding worthwhile was that you can see the love and commitment the couple had for one another. Without that sincerity, that genuine love, the wedding would have been just an over-the-top spectacle.

My fiance and I are having fun planning this wedding, because that's what weddings should be--one big joyous celebration. Not that you shouldn't care about your wedding. Don't feel bad for wanting to put effort in the small details or the presentation. That part can be really fun. Just don't make your wedding all about the small details or the presentation.

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